I cried today. I cried a few times. This morning at around seven, I checked my email as I have been checking it about thirty times daily in order to receive the good news that I had been accepted into the TaLK program and that I would be shipping out later this month. It happened in slow motion: I saw the email from TaLK and as I was clicking on it to open it, I thought about interrupting my husband during his shower so that he would be the first person to see the excitement on my face while telling him that I had been accepted. However, as I started reading the email, certain phrases such as "regret to inform you" slapped me in the face with a cold dose of early morning reality. I had jumped through so many hoops trying to get my application together for TaLK. I pulled in favors from a former employer and professor and they wrote recommendation letters for me. When I should have been focusing all of my effort, time and brain power on finishing my final papers for university, I instead split the time up and focused on my TaLK application. I ran around like a chicken with my head cut off getting a background check on myself and then having it apostilled and notarized. I even had to pay for everything out of my own pocket without reimbursement. Yet with all of my hard work, I was still rejected. Rejected. Dejected now. Their rejection email said that my application "was not competitive with the rest of the applicant pool." How can that be? I keep asking myself how my application didn't stand up to the rest of them. I graduated with straight A's and a triple major in Linguistics, Arts and Psychology. I spent a couple hundred hours teaching English to non-native speakers FOR FREE. My criminal history is spotless, I showed great enthusiasm in my application essay and I started teaching myself Korean. I even purchased classroom materials with hopes that I would use them while teaching adorable and eager Korean children. I honestly do not know what I did or did not do. After telling my friends and family that I would be in South Korea for a year, now I have to explain to them that I will be staying here while being jobless. Jobless. I have no work at all right now. That's not 100% true. I just started selling Avon four days ago. Want to know how much money I've made so far? It's zip, zero, zilch, nadda, nothin'.
After crying, I decided to pick up my whiny arse and find something else to do with my life so I called an Air Force recruiter. They don't want me. Due to my disease and my fluctuating health, the military doesn't want me. Now that's a kick in my ample booty. I probably shouldn't even bother applying for the FBI or CIA - which was my previous end game plan. I was going to teach abroad and get another language under my belt and then I thought that I would be most desirable to the FBI or CIA. If the military won't take me then they surely won't either.
So my last question is: "Would you like fries with that?"
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