post surgery

It's about 1:23 pm on Sunday the 9th of June 2013.

I had surgery three days ago to completely remove my thyroid.    My surgeon, Dr. Stang, said that it was four times larger than normal thyroids and that he had to cut into my chest and that it also was higher and farther spread out than usual.    That could explain why I'm in so much pain.  

Everyone around me had been pushing for me to have my thyroid either removed or treated with radioactive iodine for awhile.    People made me think that I'd have surgery and then everything would be peachy keen, jelly bean.    Well, things are not at all peachy, nor are they keen.

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This post has been deleted by the author.

Life's Punching Bag

It's around 3:15 pm on Thursday 17 January 2013.

I recently got back from seeing my doctor.

Now it is Monday 11 February.  I started this blog post but then I became too upset to finish it.  Apparently it took me weeks before I could muster up the courage to talk about it.  I've had Graves disease for years and many of you know that.  I have the worst case Graves disease that my doctors have ever seen.  I can live with that...literally...I can, in fact, LIVE with that.  I can live a relatively long and somewhat healthy life as long as I stay on my massive doses of medications.  The things that bother me are the symptoms that I cannot control.  I have eye issues and weight issues that suck big time.  It's no fun at all being an actress, model and singer with self-esteem issues and then having real physical deformities added into the mix.  Every moment of each day is a struggle when I see people face-to-face and it's even painful to just look in the mirror.

Life was hard even before the 17th of January.  But on that particular doctor's visit, he told me that he thinks that I have a brain aneurysm.  I'm not sure if I can live with that.

Bloggitty Blog Blog

I should be in South Korea right now...but I'm not.  Instead I've just started my long awaited "bathroom blog" called "The Bathroom Review."  I purchased the rights to this website months ago but only just now got around to starting it.

http://www.thebathroomreview.com/

For years I have been trying to get around to this project of mine where I formally evaluate all of the public bathrooms that I visit.  I visit many bathrooms so I have my work cut out for me.  I will tell you of the bathroom's cleanliness, size and the availability of soap and approved hand drying devices, etc.  Bathrooms are important to me and when the bathroom upsets me, it usually ruins my meal.  

In case I haven't mentioned this before, you can order Avon products from my website and have them shipped directly to your front door.  If you enter the current free shipping promotion code in during checkout then you won't even have to pay for shipping.  Here is my Avon website:

www.youravon.com/crystalann


Thanks for reading!  

I Can't Change the Name of this Blog, Can I?

It's the seventh of January, 2013 at approximately 4:18 in the afternoon.

I cried today.  I cried a few times.  This morning at around seven, I checked my email as I have been checking it about thirty times daily in order to receive the good news that I had been accepted into the TaLK program and that I would be shipping out later this month.  It happened in slow motion:  I saw the email from TaLK and as I was clicking on it to open it, I thought about interrupting my husband during his shower so that he would be the first person to see the excitement on my face while telling him that I had been accepted. However, as I started reading the email, certain phrases such as "regret to inform you" slapped me in the face with a cold dose of early morning reality.  I had jumped through so many hoops trying to get my application together for TaLK.  I pulled in favors from a former employer and professor and they wrote recommendation letters for me.  When I should have been focusing all of my effort, time and brain power on finishing my final papers for university, I instead split the time up and focused on my TaLK application.  I ran around like a chicken with my head cut off getting a background check on myself and then having it apostilled and notarized.  I even had to pay for everything out of my own pocket without reimbursement.  Yet with all of my hard work, I was still rejected.  Rejected.  Dejected now.  Their rejection email said that my application "was not competitive with the rest of the applicant pool."  How can that be?  I keep asking myself how my application didn't stand up to the rest of them.  I graduated with straight A's and a triple major in Linguistics, Arts and Psychology.  I spent a couple hundred hours teaching English to non-native speakers FOR FREE.  My criminal history is spotless, I showed great enthusiasm in my application essay and I started teaching myself Korean.  I even purchased classroom materials with hopes that I would use them while teaching adorable and eager Korean children.  I honestly do not know what I did or did not do.  After telling my friends and family that I would be in South Korea for a year, now I have to explain to them that I will be staying here while being jobless.  Jobless.  I have no work at all right now.  That's not 100% true.  I just started selling Avon four days ago.  Want to know how much money I've made so far?  It's zip, zero, zilch, nadda, nothin'.  

After crying, I decided to pick up my whiny arse and find something else to do with my life so I called an Air Force recruiter.  They don't want me.  Due to my disease and my fluctuating health, the military doesn't want me.  Now that's a kick in my ample booty.  I probably shouldn't even bother applying for the FBI or CIA - which was my previous end game plan.  I was going to teach abroad and get another language under my belt and then I thought that I would be most desirable to the FBI or CIA.  If the military won't take me then they surely won't either.  

So my last question is:  "Would you like fries with that?"